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date/time 28 May 2009,8:55 pm
And now I try hard to make it. I just want to make you proud
it's her results. you make it sound like i'm the one who has gotten it. if she gets those grades, it's her problem. i cry, you say i'm trying to get pity. hello, is it wrong to cry. please, after everything today, i don't cry, i must have been crazy. the whole time you were scolding me, you're just plainly blaming me for whatever wrong she does. her grades dropped, my fault. she has attitude problem, my fault again. but, when she improves, not cos of me, cos of you and her alone. when she does something good, her credit.since you came back, since 2005. my results, never good enough for you. i can never be compared to them. once compared, i'm just a disgrace to your family. not matter what happens, you were never proud of me. since that year.and then, you asked what i wanted to be when i grow up so i would know what to choose for sub combination. do you know how hard it was for me to tell you. before i could answer, you said i had no ambition and never thought about my future. you said i'm not responsible, not yet matured and that you can never expect anything from me. and when i finally tell you what i wanted to be, you told me to dream on. that i can never reach it cos my results suck, and i'm only telling you those words to get your hopes up, but you know i'll never get it. how motivational, thanks. i really need that, really.
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